Friday, November 20, 2009

How Twighlight Should Have Ended

Sorry about posting twice in one day, but this is just too good. How Twilight should have ended:

LHC, Higgs Bosun, and Fried Turkey

The CERN Large Hadron Colider (LHC) is getting ready to start up again after a malfunction caused them to shut down for a year for repairs. The reactor has also been delayed because one of the scientists had terrorist ties and most recently a piece of bread was dropped into some machinery. This has given rise to the theory that the "god particle" or future scientists are reaching back through time to try and stop the LHC from coming online.

The Higgs Bosun particle has been dubbed the "god particle" since proving its existence would go a long way toward explaining the conditions at the beginning of our universe.

In related news - other things that seem to be prone to disaster by future meddlers: fried turkeys. More houses are going to burn down this year due to turkey fries. If you're going to fry a turkey, be safe, and don't try to smash any atoms while you do it.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Mercury Falls


Too often I find that "humorous" books are bland and boring. They try too hard to make themselves easily accessible, understandable, and unoffensive. Luckily Rob Kroese is not afflicted by that desire. Perhaps it's due to the fact that his humor was honed on his blog: Mattress Police - which is one of the funniest blogs online.

Kroese writes about the end of the world due to the Apocalypse. Mercury is an angel who is supposed to play a key role in the destruction of Earth, but he would rather play ping-pong and build snowmen in Berkley. Christine is a reporter who has sold out her journalistic integrity to write about the endless parade of cults prophesying the end of all that we know. The Apocalypse is governed by a huge legal document negotiated by the angelic and demonic lawyers over thousands of years, and orchestrated by the bloated, heavenly bureaucracy.

I don't know how he did it, but he has found a way to slide in hilarious references to everything from theology to science fiction to evolution to physics and just about everything else. There is a joke in here for everyone - Kroese finds a way to equally offend and entertain. I rarely laugh due to reading something - my mind is quick enough to see what's coming so the surprise of the joke isn't there - except with Mercury Falls. His writing is so quick and witty that he's constantly catching me off guard. I've thrown my head back and deeply laughed several times.

This is the funniest book I have ever read. That isn't hyperbole, it's the fact that I have laughed more from reading this book than any other. Skip the sitcom and pick up Mercury Falls for a great time and lots of laughter.