Thursday, August 30, 2007

I like football, not football

I like football. It's finally back with all the excitement of college football's season-long playoffs and professional football's unfolding drama. Amazing plays, hard hits, last second field goals (thank you Josh Brown).

Here's what bothers me: all these comercials about soccer (a.k.a. football) that are trying to convince me to like the sport or something. Blah-blah-Beckham, whatever. I know that it's the job of the advertisers to get me to like something, but it's the tactic they use that really bothers me. Don't tell me that if I really watched soccer I would like it, or if there's a big star I would like it, or that the rest of the world likes it so I should too. That's all pretty specious reasoning. Can't I just not like the game based on having given it a try?

I don't care if you like soccer (I don't care that most of the world likes soccer). Just don't try to make me like it with you. I've tried it, several times, and it hasn't gotten any better. I also don't like watermellon, I never have really. Every once in a while I'll try a piece again just to make sure: yup, still don't like it.

By the way, Beckham is already injured and may be out for the season.


Tim said... sucks.

Unknown said...

I don't like watching any sports, but if I did, I would still never, ever like soccer. The fact that people outside of America call it "futbol" just shows them that they don't understand subtlety. The wonderful irony that American football almost never involves people touching the ball with their foot is completely lost on them. Barbarians.

Once Larry Deal tried to convince Dwayne and me of the glorious wonders of soccer, him using the pinnacle of all arguments to bring it home: that soccer is the most "postmodern" of games.

One more reason for me to strenuously disregard the game that gave rise to the suspiciously gay phrase "bend it like Beckham."

Jake Shore said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jake Shore said...

I'll give you three reasons why soccer sucks:




If the rest of the world wants to play their silly primitive sport, let them. I'm with you James, just don't tell the country who invented the three greatest sports in the world why they should watch or expect anyone past the age of 10 to play such a boring game.

The Beckham experiment is a failure. The guys is way past his prime and he's always too 'hurt' to play for the LA Galaxy, but he goes back and plays great for the England national team, then gets 'hurt' again as soon as he gets back. Sounds to me like he just wants to kick it(pardon the pun) here in America while he collects his $250m contract (largets in MLS history). How bad have the Galaxy and American soccer fans been hoodwinked? It's their fault for liking such lame sport.

Ryan Woods said...

you guys are all silly. First off, though I'm a life long basketball fan, and a huge soccer fan (not the mls though. They're pathetic, as is Beckham). But it is still true that football as it is right now is the best sport ever made. It's beautiful.
Secondly, baseball sucks. Don't get me wrong, I've caught Mariner fever...but seriously, isn't virtually all sports games more entertainging that baseball. If you can be overweight and still play effectivly then there's something to be said (see Mo Vaugn among others). If you can barely walk and yet still play there's something to be said (bonds). If a game regularly last 12 hours (and I'm pretty sure baseball games last this long) then you know you've got boring on your hands.
Thirdly, I think it's strange when people harp on soccer as primitive, boring, lame, etc. Primitive? You mean trying to get a ball in a hole is primitive? Like basketball? Like golf or hockey? Is it as primitive as trying to get a ball accross a line like football? Aren't pretty much all sports primitive at their core? In baseball you try to hit a rock with a stick and then run in a big circle before someone tags you! It sounds like cavemen would make something like that up (enter Geiko commerical).
Lame? Boring? Canadians think that hockey is amazing and I'm not sure why. I've tried to watch it. I've given it a chance. But I don't enjoy it. I grew up playing soccer (every kid does right?). I stopped playing once I was old enough to play real american sports. I never really cared about soccer after that...until I lived in Europe and was immursed in the culture there. After learning to understand the game, after playing the game nearly every day, after experiencing the passion associated with it, I am now a huge soccer fan. And I'm sure if I lived in Canada long enough I'd become a hockey fan...well, maybe that's assuming too much. Hockey really does suck.

James T Wood said...

Jason said: Beckham is gay. Teeheehee.

Um, isn't hockey just soccer on ice? Let's see . . . extremely low scores - check. Possibility of ties - check. Random timing system - check. Snotty fans who think their sport is the only good sport - check. Enjoyed in third world countries - check.

Ryan, I have no problem with you liking soccer. That's cool. My problem is with other people (like advertisers) trying to make me like soccer. You're right, most sports are primitive (UFC anyone?) - I think that's why men like them (grunt-grunt).

Marjorie said...

Isn't the hole that the soccer ball goes into just waaaaaayyyy too big to miss.... and still such very low scores....

Jake Shore said...

"Um, isn't hockey just soccer on ice? Let's see . . . extremely low scores - check. Possibility of ties - check. Random timing system - check. Snotty fans who think their sport is the only good sport - check. Enjoyed in third world countries - check."

Well said James. I would put hockey in the same category as soccer (another foreign invention), but I will say that wathcing hockey in person is a totally different experience than sleeping through it on TV. And minor league hockey is even better. Go to a Winterhawks game and you'll see what I mean.

As for Mr. Rizzle, I agree that baseball can be boring, but it is probably the most complex sport I know of. I still don't understand it. I won't defend MLB, but the watching the Beavers play in the college world series was a blast.

As for UFC, that's nothing more than human cockfighting.

KMiV said...

One of my Albanian friends says, "America where women play soccer and men play rugby. Soccer is about skill, rugby about size and power."

It always digs at me a little.

Tim said...

There are overweight people in almost any sport (soccer doesn't count, 'cause it sucks).

Ryan Woods said...

yes but in many sports the overweight people aren't all stars (see oliver miller)